Literally like the only way
mostmen can think of a woman as a person who shouldn’t be raped and abused is by thinking of her as “someone’s daughter”, “someone’s wife”, “someone’s sister”, etc. They can’t just think of her as a woman unto herself who SHOULD NOT BE RAPED WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS A SINGLE ORPHANED ONLY CHILD, that would be weird. She must belong or be connected to someone in some way in order to be a person worthy of respect.
Being nice or not nice has nothing to do with your actions. You need consent before you engage in sexual activity with anyone—including people you are in a relationship with.
Not raping or taking the risk of raping the three women I mentioned here doesn’t make me “nice.” It just makes me a responsible person—toward myself and other people. But if you read the Good Men Project’s articles and others like them, you might think differently because they poorly attempt to present you with other “in-between” types of men, beyond the responsible and the criminal:
The “Accidental Rapist” who had sex with a sleeping woman because she looked like she wanted to have sex with him when she was awake. The “Occupational Hazard Rapist,” who has sex with drunk women, some of whom might call him to tell him he raped him, but whatevs. Beyond these, there are other types of rapists I’ve heard of and you probably have, too. The “No-Contest Rapist” is still a “nice guy” because the woman was too traumatized to stop him. The “She-Was-Asking-For-It Rapist” can’t seem to view women as human beings who have a purpose in life other than getting men to sleep with them. For the “We’re-in-a-Sexual-Relationship-So-I-Don’t-Need-Consent Rapist,” Google “spousal rape.” There are lots more. And guess what? Most of these guys are “nice guys,” not monsters, we’re told.
By using sympathetic narratives and then peppering them with how the woman dressed, how she bragged about her sex life—so unladylike, right?—and how she kissed him on the lips, looked at him a certain way, touched him on the thigh, the pieces published by the Good Men Project weave utterly confusing scenarios. Then, with their liberal use of clichés, dehumanizing characterizations of women, and misrepresenting criminality, they are playing mind games with their readers to make the facts murky and advocate that these men are “nice guys.”
Read all of this excellent piece here.
Railway blocked between Toronto and Montreal.
A native woman raped and beaten in Thunder Bay in what is being reported as a hate crime.
Earlier, someone threatened all the institutions at Kahnawake, saying he’d shoot any protesting natives.
Things are escalating, please be careful.
this is how rape culture feels
when it’s dark
and i’m walking alone
my body is
whirring in time with my frantic heartbeat
and in my mind
the news broadcaster is telling me that
one in three women will be a
of sexual assault in their lifetime -
well, i went out with two other girls tonight
so which one does that make me?
cross the street
keys between fingers
cell phone in hand
it’s so hard to move quickly
in such a goddamn tight dress.
numbers, figures, stories -
they roll off your tongue in conversation
and you sometimes forget that
a third of women
will have something fucked from inside them,
adam cracking eve’s chest to pluck an excess rib for himself
taken just because he could
just to store away and rub and polish
this feeling is the kind of unclean
that no amount of showers can fix.
the questions -
why were you walking alone?
why didn’t you catch a cab?
why were you dressed the way you were dressed?
why didn’t you scream?
why didn’t you run?
why didn’t you fight?
and as you feel your tongue recoil with the hot blast of shame, you think -
why don’t you ask
why they burnt a part of me to the ground
and spat on the ashes?
you don’t have to tell us
that not all men are
“like that” -
we have fathers, brothers, male lovers too
more of you are
than you care to admit
and sometimes, we do not know if we are stepping into
until we are well and truly through the door
if you can try and feel me up
in a crowded train at peak hour
i shudder to think what you would do
had you come across me walking home alone
if you claim that you are “neutral”
when it comes to rape culture -
that men shouldn’t rape
but women shouldn’t dress like sluts
and yes, rape is wrong, but what if it’s a misunderstanding -
then you are as far away from neutral
as i want to be from you
neutrality is something
that you can feel
when someone asks,
“do you like glee?”
“would you like some more cake?”
it is not, however
an appropriate response
- a humane response -
to the questions of
“do you think people ever ask to be raped?”
“if they didn’t say no, that means it’s ok, right?”
is as hurtful as the hands
that so many women have been
held down by
pushed up a fence, fingers in mouth, torn apart by
no, i’m not interested in giving you my number.
i hope you understand.
“ahahah ha hahahahaha you got raped” he yelled to the female rape victim whose character he just killed in a game while she was looking the other way for two seconds
she was triggered but she needs to grow a thicker skin bc it’s just a word !!!!!
“She was herself responsible,” the district and three other defendants’ attorneys wrote in a Oct. 24 legal filing. “Carelessness and negligence on her part proximately contributed to the happenings of the incident.”
This is a 12-year-old girl we’re talking about here. A scared little girl molested by a man she thought she could trust, now a young woman being told that this teacher’s advances were her “responsibility” to deflect.
Please, join us in writing the Moraga school district and its legal team to express your horror and disgust at their attack on Kristen Cunnane. If we can bring enough media attention to this story, we can stop this appalling victim-blaming once and for all — but if we don’t speak out, more women and girls will be shamed into silence.
PETITION TO MORAGA SCHOOL DISTRICT: Blaming pre-teen victims for the actions of their molesters is nothing short of horrific. We demand that you stop the assault on Kristen Cunnane and her fellow survivors, taking responsibility for your failure to protect them from predatory teachers.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO WRITE AN EMAIL OR CALL THE MORAGA SCHOOL DISTRICT’S SUPERINTENDENT AND STAFF to tell them what you think about this, HERE…