- Don’t ask about their body in any way when you barely know them. Just because someone is transitioning doesn’t mean you can ask inappropriate questions. When a man asks me if I have breasts or what I’m ‘working with down there’ my first thought is that you don’t need to know because you’ll never be ‘working with anything’ I have.
- Don’t ask what their ‘real name’ is. They are not an undercover spy trying to lure you into releasing your government secrets.
- Don’t assume that they’re desperate. Although transwomen like every other person may be attractive or unattractive, transwomen are probably a little more uncommon than ciswomen. If they wanted to suck some random guys dick, they could go on craigslist.
- Don’t ask to see a picture of them ‘when they were a boy.’ They were never a boy.
- Don’t try complimenting them by saying ‘you fooled me!!’ or ‘wow i thot you were a gurl!!’ That’s like seeing a girl you like without her favorite slimming dress on and saying ‘WOW YOU SURE FOOLED ME, I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE HOW FAT YOU ARE’
- Don’t tell them how you ‘aren’t interested in dicks but would let them suck yours.’ Don’t flatter yourself.
- Don’t try to convince them as to how you’re ‘straight.’ They’re not thinking you’re gay, and all you’re doing is putting them in a different category than everyone else you’ve ever liked.
- Don’t act like they’re just as horny as you are. For most, the hormones lower sex drive. You’re also probably not Hercules.
- Don’t act like you’re doing them a favor. Let’s not kid ourselves, you’re the one getting the favor.Do’s
- Do try to make them feel beautiful.
- Do treat them like everyone else, and then treat them better than everyone else when that time comes.
- Do act as if you’re interested in them as a person, and not a toy.
- Do act like a decent human being.
TDLR; DON’T BE A DICK.
Cis lesbians, a lot of this applies to you too.
- SAKIA GUNN -Lesbian - murder victim
- NIREAH [GREGORY] JOHNSON - Trans-woman - murder victim
- ANGIE ZAPATA - Trans-woman - murder victim
- REBECCA WIGHT - Lesbian - murder victim
Sure everyone knows Brandon Teena, Matthew Shepard and Gwen Araujo ….but they weren’t the only gay, lesbian, trans or bi people BRUTALLY murdered because of hatred.
Now let’s put some names to some all too forgotten faces, shall we? People need to know.
Sakia Gunn: She was only 15 when she was killed. Stabbed for telling a few men who were hitting on her and her teenage girlfriends that they were lesbians and did not appreciate the attention the men were giving them.
Nireah Johnson: Nireah was 17, her and her best friend Brandi Coleman were out cruising and met two boys at a gas station and exchanged numbers. They later met the boys only to be interrogated about Nireah’s gender identity. When their dates discovered Nireah was pre-op they bound and gagged Nireah and Brandi, shot them, then burned the car their bodies were in.
[picture of Brandie and Nireah as shown by a local newstation, notice how they refused to identify Nireah they way she saw herself and lived…smh].
Angie Zapata: Was killed when she was 18. Angie ‘made the mistake’ of meeting a boy online [mocospace] in 2008….who would later kill her because he was transphobic. Her killer is quoted as saying in the arrest affidavit, he thought he had “killed it” before leaving in Zapata’s car with the murder weapon and other incriminating evidence.
Rebecca Wight: Was killed when she was 28, in 1988. Some of us tumblr users weren’t even thought of then. But her murder shows how indoctrinated in our society [our grandparents, and parent’s generations] homophobia and transphobia are and how it passes from one generation to another. Rebecca was killed when a man fired his gun at her and her partner Claudia. The man had seen the two women camping and had walked into a women’s restroom near their campsite [while Rebecca was nude because she thought no-one else was there]. The women moved, hoping to find somewhere more private. After the couple settled in to their new campsite they began to make love, unbeknownst to them the man they had met earlier was watching them…and then began to fire his rifle into their tent. Rebecca was hit with 7 bullets and would later die…Claudia fortunately survived and ran off to find help.
Because Rebecca’s murder took place over 24 years ago, no pictures of her could be found online.
The Transgender Day of Remembrance website maintains a list of all known (i.e. actually reported in the media) murders against trans people. Virtually all of them are trans women, and a majority are trans women of color.
Bolding mine. It is not a coincidence that LGBT murder victims that DO get national attention are often white males. Brandon Teena was killed for being transgender, but his case is just a drop in an ocean of murders we don’t talk about because we don’t value the lives in POC in general and transwomen of any race are considered abominations. (Gee, misogynistic patriarchy, thanks.)
i’m talking to all you, my fellow AFAB trans* and queer folks.
i’ve got a couple things to tell you
i was going to say “secrets to let you in on”
but they’re only secretive because no matter how many times someone says them to you, y’all act like you’ve never heard it before, and then promptly forget it as soon as, i don’t know, the sun rotates or something
here we go:
- “tr*nny” is not ours to reclaim. it refers to an extremely negative image of trans* women, portrayed and perpetuated by our society. the only reason it is ever used against us is because it likens us to trans* women, which society considers to be negative. therefore, even if it’s been used against you, it’s not because you are a trans*masculine person — it is because being trans means that you are more like trans* women than cis people, and to this world, that is a bad thing.
- there is no such thing as “cisphobia” or “anti-cis hate speech” or anything of that caliber. every time one of you claims that someone (especially a trans* woman) says something “hateful” toward cis people, you are literally sucking the patriarchy’s dick like a fucking hoover. this is exactly what the forces in power want you to think: if we’re nice, they’ll give us what we want. that’s your privilege speaking, loud and clear, because you can be nice and suck up to the authorities and get away with whatever you want. CeCe McDonald defended herself, saved herself from being murdered like her other sisters of color by hateful white cis straight people, and she’ll be in jail for almost 4 years for surviving — a plea bargain that was taken because the “trial of her peers” was going to be white cis straight people in order to “prevent any bias.”chew on that next time you tone police a trans* woman.
- i know that not all of you are into being radical/queer/or even trans*, and that’s fine, assimilate all you want, i won’t stop you. but do not become part of the system that discriminates against, blatantly hates, robs, rapes, hurts, and kills your sisters (primarily of color) because i will find you and fuck you up.
- being trans does not absolve you of all other privileges. if you are white, you have white privilege. when you “pass,” you have privilege, and the reason that we must be constantly reminded to check our privilege is because when we pass as male, we are awarded male privilege.
- for those of us who are genderqueer, when we pass as either binary gender, we are awarded cis privileges, because we are not identified as a “gender threat.” and because of our society’s gendered hierarchy, when we, AFAB people, are perceived as masculine, we are not nearly as badly vilified as AMAB people who transcend gender boundaries, so even if you feel the need to say, “but i’m genderqueer/non-binary!” recognize that we are awarded so much more freedom to express ourselves because we are AFAB. i can find plenty of masculine clothing in my size and my department; when was the last time you saw dresses in the men’s department or in sizes that accomodate AMAB bodies?
**NONE OF THIS IS SAYING THAT AFAB TRANS*/NON-BINARY PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE ISSUES OR STRUGGLES TO OVERCOME**
BUT THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO ADD THAT DISCLAIMER REALLY FUCKING SUCKS
if you feel like arguing this with me, go right ahead. take your internalized cissexism, transmisogyny, and transphobia out on me. don’t do it to the AMAB trans* bloggers who are already dealing with a shitstorm from the rest of the world. got a problem? bring it here.
The 106-year-old transgender woman who addressed the first ever public gay rights rally in Burma must have seen incredible changes in her lifetime, from living under British colonialism to…
So basically, this lady is way cooler than you’ll ever be.